Free matchmaking services abound throughout the World Wide Web allowing millions of singles to search all over the world for that special someone that might be the love of their life. These services are usually free only in the initial stages of the search process, allowing viewers to look at potential matches for free. Later, email addresses and phone numbers, if included on the profile, will usually be provided after joining the website’s membership at a cost. Tens of thousands of people have found love and marriage through Internet dating sites, so they provide a real service. But there are some things to remember when using them.
Many cyberspace safety experts say that most people lie at least a little on their profile, with their picture or both. Pictures can be touched up or older pictures used, and profiles can certainly be exaggerated. Uncle Bills can make themselves sound like Prince William and Aunt Matilda looks like her twenty four year old niece in that picture. Wait! That is her niece in the picture. From the perspective of the person just starting out using free matchmaking services, be real from the very beginning! Don’t shade the truth about age, appearance, education or income. It just means a big glob of stuff that has to get untangled later.
This leads the discussion of cyber dating to a reminder that most all of us bring some form of dysfunction to the table when posting personal ads online. Many people have no business posting their interest in finding a partner on the Internet because of unresolved issues that will only fog up the next relational attempt. It is human to want to be with someone, to find someone, to live and not be lonely. But until a person is really comfortable with themselves, without needing someone else to feel fulfilled, he cannot be ready to engage in a long lasting and meaningful relationship with someone else. Getting one’s self worth from having a husband or wife or girlfriend or live-in is a recipe for relational disaster. Free matchmaking services can be a blessing or a curse, depending on whether or not the user has come to grips with their own baggage.
Here is a real good piece of advice when considering whether or not to use free matchmaking services. Ask a close and trusted advisor, not necessarily a best friend if you are ready for dating, particularly if there has been a divorce or the death of a spouse in one’s life. Fresh and non-biased perspectives are particularly important when using Internet dating services because of the Internet’s power to garner a lot of interest in your profile. It can be easy to be caught up in the excitement of hurrying home each night to see what new possibilities have arrived in your mailbox, forgetting that there are issues in one’s own life that haven’t been addressed. Just remember that you bring into a new relationship the same old person you have always been and that may not be a positive.
Look for free matchmaking services that mask one’s real email address. Don’t give out any personal information that could be used to trace your residence. Don’t necessarily believe that someone actually looks like Brad Pitt; have your best friend take a look also-he or she may have other impressions. Cyber dating using free matchmaking services is not something that ought to be rushed into, at least in the initial stages. So many personal cues that are available when looking at a person can be missed with just the words that appear on a monitor screen. Once the relationship has moved passed the emailing back and forth, use a public telephone to communicate. Be smart and intelligent about how to communicate with this person. Assume nothing and let the relationship unfold slowly.
Free matchmaking services are usually free only in the early stages of their use. Typically people are able to browse and look at those who have posted profiles and pictures online. Contacting those that have your interest may demand that you buy a membership to the matchmaking service in order to communicate with that person. Some matchmaking providers take their responsibility quite seriously and spend the time to provide at least a shallow personality and temperament questionnaire. Attempts to match people temperamentally may provide a more satisfying partner search. But free matchmaking online may not offer such a service unless paid for or not at all. One might be well off using a website that is a paid website but offers such a service.
People who have had to use singles clubs, bars and even church groups have often tired of the hassle. Many people who use these venues appear to be needy and dysfunctional. The Internet and its free matchmaking services, with their ability to reach around the world certainly have opened the entire nation’s single population to those looking for a mate. Sadly, too many people feel cheated, less valued and less important than those who have a stable full of dating prospects or a fianc or husband. God, the Creator of love and romance and intimacy knows all about that pain and that incompleteness that often accompanies singleness. He desires that you find in Him that satisfaction that can so easily be misidentified as the need for someone lying next to you at night. As you trust Him, He is ready to fill every longing in your heart and life. “My God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:13)
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